Sunday, June 25, 2006
Played with Relish
My friend Teri at the YMCA got me into this pickle. She sweetly inquired if I’d like to play a game with her after our Pilates class. She didn't tell me pickleball playing could become an obsessive behavior.
Pickleball is a paddle, whiffle-ball, and net sport played in or outdoors on a small court. The basic rules and play have similarities to badminton, tennis and ping-pong. It is fun, fast-moving, even fanciful—check out this pickleball wedding. In that same spirit, I submit to you my Pickleball Scouting Report, because I’m sure your curiosity (or Teri) will pull you onto the court where you may face (as I have done so bravely already) the following formidable players:
(Players presented in alphabetical order; rankings as yet undetermined.)
Any Time’s Pickle Time Teri—Rumored to have whiled away the better part of a full day on the court. Steady, consistent, unflappable player. If you take the lead, watch out…she never gives up and will come from behind to snatch victory away just as you’re saying “Possible (game point)”.
Eveready Everett—An experienced player with a good eye, good shot placement, and good strategy—don’t ever underestimate him.
Jana the Nimble Net Ninja—Deceptively fleet of foot, amazing gazelle-like bursts to the net to return short dinks; displays Ninja caginess with cross court shots placed just over the net in the difficult-to-reach non-volley zone.
JJ the Wizard—Avoid being lulled into security by his seeming nonchalance; attacks viciously at the net. This 14-year old Harry Potter look-alike seems to have some of the kid wizard’s magical incantations as well. Yells “It’s in” at an obviously wayward ball, and suddenly the ball curves or drops right on the line or just inbounds. Beware if he utters “expelliarmus”: might cause the paddle to fly right out of your hand.
Joltin’ Joe and Cocky Curt: Partners initially regarded as flashes in the pan, but may be the real thing. Scouting report on them incomplete.
Just Keeps Talkin’ Jodi—Always competitive and driven to win; delivers a constant stream of snappy, witty comments during play that intimidate, surprise, and discombobulate opponents as they attempt to understand or answer them mid-shot.
Legerdemain Leonard—True aficionado of the game, owns his own championship paddle. Definitely makes optimum use of spins, can even change racquet hands in the middle of the action. Could be a magical combination if partnered with JJ the Wizard.
Momentum Busting Mel—Good basic skills, her sneaky tactic is loquacity. To stem opponents’ increasing impetus, she becomes Chatty Cathy with her partner, (“…yes, I’m sure it was the tall blonde I saw you talking to at the water fountain….”) stalling the game, frustrating opponents and breaking their concentration and momentum.
Pumped Up Patty—Poised and self-possessed, intimidates with a powerful return off the bounce. Lure her up close to the net with some freebie “birthday” shots and you might get her to whack a volley out of bounds.
Smack ‘Em Moana—Talks smack, and backs it up by smacking the ball hard, fast and low for dazzling winners. The girl got game.
Spinmeister Steve—His pet spins are legitimate weapons, and garner him quick points; try running him side to side on the court, until HE is spinning.
As for MY game….well, I don’t want to give away my secrets and my skills. I will warn you that I am working on a slice that’s a dilly! In the long run, being in this pickle could be a pretty sweet thing.
Pickleball is a paddle, whiffle-ball, and net sport played in or outdoors on a small court. The basic rules and play have similarities to badminton, tennis and ping-pong. It is fun, fast-moving, even fanciful—check out this pickleball wedding. In that same spirit, I submit to you my Pickleball Scouting Report, because I’m sure your curiosity (or Teri) will pull you onto the court where you may face (as I have done so bravely already) the following formidable players:
(Players presented in alphabetical order; rankings as yet undetermined.)
Any Time’s Pickle Time Teri—Rumored to have whiled away the better part of a full day on the court. Steady, consistent, unflappable player. If you take the lead, watch out…she never gives up and will come from behind to snatch victory away just as you’re saying “Possible (game point)”.
Eveready Everett—An experienced player with a good eye, good shot placement, and good strategy—don’t ever underestimate him.
Jana the Nimble Net Ninja—Deceptively fleet of foot, amazing gazelle-like bursts to the net to return short dinks; displays Ninja caginess with cross court shots placed just over the net in the difficult-to-reach non-volley zone.
JJ the Wizard—Avoid being lulled into security by his seeming nonchalance; attacks viciously at the net. This 14-year old Harry Potter look-alike seems to have some of the kid wizard’s magical incantations as well. Yells “It’s in” at an obviously wayward ball, and suddenly the ball curves or drops right on the line or just inbounds. Beware if he utters “expelliarmus”: might cause the paddle to fly right out of your hand.
Joltin’ Joe and Cocky Curt: Partners initially regarded as flashes in the pan, but may be the real thing. Scouting report on them incomplete.
Just Keeps Talkin’ Jodi—Always competitive and driven to win; delivers a constant stream of snappy, witty comments during play that intimidate, surprise, and discombobulate opponents as they attempt to understand or answer them mid-shot.
Legerdemain Leonard—True aficionado of the game, owns his own championship paddle. Definitely makes optimum use of spins, can even change racquet hands in the middle of the action. Could be a magical combination if partnered with JJ the Wizard.
Momentum Busting Mel—Good basic skills, her sneaky tactic is loquacity. To stem opponents’ increasing impetus, she becomes Chatty Cathy with her partner, (“…yes, I’m sure it was the tall blonde I saw you talking to at the water fountain….”) stalling the game, frustrating opponents and breaking their concentration and momentum.
Pumped Up Patty—Poised and self-possessed, intimidates with a powerful return off the bounce. Lure her up close to the net with some freebie “birthday” shots and you might get her to whack a volley out of bounds.
Smack ‘Em Moana—Talks smack, and backs it up by smacking the ball hard, fast and low for dazzling winners. The girl got game.
Spinmeister Steve—His pet spins are legitimate weapons, and garner him quick points; try running him side to side on the court, until HE is spinning.
As for MY game….well, I don’t want to give away my secrets and my skills. I will warn you that I am working on a slice that’s a dilly! In the long run, being in this pickle could be a pretty sweet thing.
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